Sunday, 2 November 2014


I remember the first Missionary I ever met

It was on a bus and he was so excited to tell me about the Gospel. Back then I was an agnostic. We had the same mothertounge; Swedish. He was suprised that I red The Book of Mormon in a week. Back then I red it as a fairytale. Now as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.

One week ago we met for a soda. Fredrik means alot to me and with hope he will become a pilot some day. That is his ambition and dream.

”Lo, this only have I found, that God hath made man upright; but they have sought out many inventions.” Eccelatis 7:29.

Tack Fredrik fast det inte blev du som döpte mej.

Tuesday, 21 October 2014

Just some pics I wanna share

So many shades of gold
Another miracle we take for granted
Another expression of the artist's vision
The blending of the autumn hues 
with the setting sun
Thank you for autumn, Lord

We must devote our time to the things that matter most.

Wednesday, 8 October 2014

My General Conference

So I have watched and listened to the October 2014 General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The first session I watched in the Vasa chapel and it was great meeting members in my old hometown. Then I followed it on the net. And here my brothers and sisters are five personal thoughts from the Conference.

I loved when Sister Cheryl Esplin was talking about the sacrament, “The sacrament gives us an opportunity for introspection and an opportunity to turn our heart and will to God,” she said. “Obedience to the commandments brings the power of the gospel into our lives and greater peace and spirituality.” I hope that when I am blind and deaf, unable to hear any testimonies, that I den still will have the power to attend the sacrament meeting promising to think and act, to be, as Christ.

President Henry Eyring said logic isn't enough for humanity traversing turmoil. He's right. In its most vital moments,. I also like what his father, the chemist Henry Eyring has said "Is there any conflict between science and religion? There is no conflict in the mind of God, but often there is conflict in the minds of men." He never got the Noble Prize and some thinks that it was because of his religion and I do not know how The Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences was thinking but they apparently awarded him the Berzelius Medal in 1977 as partial compensation.

Elder Oak had a refreshing talk focusing on the key question why it is so diffuclt to have Christlike love for one another?

And he said: “When our positions do not prevail, we should accept unfavorable results graciously and practice civility with our adversaries. In any event, we should be persons of goodwill toward all, rejecting persecution of any kind, including persecution based on race, ethnicity, religious belief or nonbelief, and differences in sexual orientation “

Futher Fox news:

Fox news

But that said; why did Elder Oaks chose the polarizing term “adversaries,” instead of repeating the phrase “those with whom we disagree.” This type of emotionally-fraught labeling is in all liklihood not the best way to raise the level of civility. Me myself connect the term with Satan and his minions. I have respect for Elder Oaks as an Apostle and a special witness of Jesus Christ, I respect his calling and what it entails. He is a great man but still there where som things in his talk that I didn´t get. I am trying to be a good member of Our Church and a caring brother to my friends and when I am a person experiening same-sex attraction I do want toseek and receive personal revelation of the purpose of it.

The missionary choir was singing "Called to Serve" and it reminded me that I am also called to serve in my everyday life.

Elder Carlos Godoy said that above scriptures and prophets, we have personal revelation to guide us. True and sometimes demanding.

Thursday, 25 September 2014

can’t do gay

We don’t talk about sexuality very well in the church, much less same sex attraction.

“Mormons can be gay, they just can’t do gay”, was the title when Ty Mansfield spoked at the Fair Mormon Congress in August

I was there and it has been I while since but I thought it is better that I really think about Ty´s speach before I write about it here in my blog.

Mansfield came out in 2004, when he co-wrote ”In Quiet Desperation: Understanding the Challenge of Same-Gender Attraction.” The book began with the story of Stuart Matis, who shot himself on the steps of his LDS chapel after struggling with same-sex attraction. Ty is also the cofounder of the support organization North Star for LDS individuals affected by homosexuality. He has said that he, because of his same-sex-attractions was ready to live a life of celibacy. However in 2010 he met Danielle and they fell in love, got married in the temple and are now proud parents of two childrens.

In his speach he said: ”While I still occasionally experience attraction to men, my desires are such that I can’t tell you the last time I desired a same-sex relationship. I desire only to be with my wife and family. ” and later: ”If others refer to me as gay, I typically tolerate it for practical purposes, but it’s not how I see myself, and occasionally it can feel particularly oppressive when others seem to insist on projecting and LGBT identity construct on me even after I’ve specified that that is not how I see myself.”

Well, for me that is just fine. If Ty is happy with his wife and his kids and if they are happy then it is just awesome.

But I had a problem listening to him. The subtitle of his speach was: ”Deconstructing Sexuality and Identity from an LDS Perspective” but brother Mansfield wasn’t deconstructing sexuality. He was deconstructing homosexuality and left heterosexuality intact.

To deconstruct something can be very evaporable and in my opinion you have to use it all the way if you want to use it.

According to brother Mansfield sexuality goes into four tiers — attraction and desire, orientation, behavior, and identity. And at the congress he went through each to deconstruct them. For example, for sexual orientation Ty quoted a researcher known for her research on female sexual fluidity who claims that because sexual fluidity is a general feature of human sexuality we have to talk about homosexualities rather than “homosexuality”. Ty noted that the idea that gender preference is the primary component of our sexual orientation is a current social construct, but still there are many factors required to make someone desirable — after all, we are only generally attracted to a few people of the sex to which we are attracted.

Well I agree. We aren’t attracted to everyone of the sex we desire. I am not attracted to every man that I stumble upon. So what is my problem listening to Ty? Well as I said: if you want to use deconstruction use it all the way. Heterosexuality is also a construct.

“Mormons can be gay, they just can’t do gay- Deconstructing Sexuality and Identity from an LDS Perspective” The title is a pejorative statement that is a caricature of doctrine and practices; it oversimplifies. is a flawed construction. It seems to me that Ty is using deconstructionism when it suits him, showing that being gay is not that wiered but the tools can´t be used elswhere when we are talking about gender and identity.

Furthermore I have never ever in the church heard something about our intersexual members. The term intersex covers bodily variations in regard to culturally established standards of maleness and femaleness, including variations at the level of chromosomes, gonads and genitals. how do you pick a child’s gender if she or he is intersex?

The child is assigned a gender as boy or girl after tests have been done and the parents have consulted with the doctors on which gender the child is more likely to feel as she or he grows up. The parents are deciding. And what if they are not asking the Lord? The vast majority of children with complete androgen insensitivity syndrome grow up to feel female, and that many children with cloacal exstrophy and XY chromosomes will grow up to feel male.

Why shouldn’t children with intersex be raised in a “third gender”? I do not know and Ty didn´t give me an answer. Deconstruction.

I want to be humble. I think that one could certainly develop a well-intentioned white picket fence homonormativity in the Law of Chastity.

My Mormon pragdim is a social pragdim and we can get back to that.
Sexual identities are socially constructed, and are tied with competing and sometimes incompatible social narratives and paradigms.

Be who you are.

Thursday, 28 August 2014

Heavenly mother

As a new member of our church it was ideal for me to be at the FairMormon Conference in Utah.

I am a thinking person and if somebody say ”this is true” then I am always trying to see the other side of the coin.

So I really liked when Sharon Eubank, whose lecture was called ”This is a womens church”, started out by talking about the doctrine of intelligences. She stated that this is unique to Mormonism and how the doctrine talks about how we always have existed as intelligences. But then we chose to ally ourselves with our Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother.

Sharon Eubank is the Director of LDS Charities

This was intresting. I have a Lutheran friend here in Finland and she introduced, at hbt-services, the tradition to pray both to our Heavenly Father and our Heavenly mother.

I know in our church that LDS Church president Gordon B. Hinckley has said that Mormons should not pray to the Heavenly Mother because Christ instructed his disciples to address the Heavenly Father in their prayers And I am not talking about prayers here. I am saying that it was intresting because this was the first time I have heard anybody in our churc talking about our Heavenly Mother (besides the missionaries once, briefly)

Sister Eubank said that we define ourselves in different roles and for her the first role is that she is a woman and she believes womanhood has roles related to binding, connecting and bridging. From her own experience, being in an image of the divine feminine, this is what she feels responsible for.

And one role for women is to establish the house described in D&C.

”Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God; ” (D&C 88:119)

For her that is not a literal house or even necessarily the temple. It is a generation of life, of community

One way of bulding is going on a mission an sister Eubank was asked if she was excited about young women going serving missions. Sister Eubank herself served as a missonary here in Finland
and said that her mission taught her how to articulate before people.- If we can deepen people’s understanding of doctrine and help them learn to be articulate, it is fantastic, she said.
She was also asked about women and the priesthood and said she belives that anyone who is endowed holds certain aspects of the priesthood and the church is just on the verge of understanding what that means.

I have heard a lot of criticism from non members about womens role in the church and sometimes I, as a man, haven`t been able to answer. For sister Eubank our doctrine is the most moderate and enlightening and empowering doctrine that exists for women.

For me it is a church for all children to our Heavenly Father and our Heavenly Mother.

To sister Eubank I replied: Kiitos valaisit minua (Thank You You enlighted me)

Tuesday, 12 August 2014


Here are some pics from my trip to Utah and the Fair Mormon Congress in Provo. I am back in Finland with a little bit of jet lag so my readers for now just pics. I will tell ya more later

In Utah are wonderful gardens. Red Butte Garden was amazing

There are mountains in Utah

The conference center in Provo.

Due to some missunderstandings and my timetable I didn´t catch up with a friend of mine but I saw the Temple Scuare Salt Lake City. Gary my brother next time.

nice view

Pink wildflower....


from Salt Lake City....

.. to Helsinki

Monday, 4 August 2014


A new day, a great day.

Tomorrow it is tuesday. I will be in Salt Lake City. In Provo for the Fair Mormon Conference. I am looking forward to meet friends and thursday: 

Ty Mansfield; “Mormons can be gay, they just can’t do gay”?: Deconstructing Sexuality and Identity From an LDS Perspective.

Hugs my friends.


Thursday, 31 July 2014

Hit me in Love

Why are we sometimes so afraid of negative feelings? I was thinking about this today when I was reading 3 Nephi 17 and the way our Savior deals with those feelings and how open He is.

"And it came to pass that when they had knelt upon the ground, Jesus groaned within himself, and said: Father, I am troubledbecause of the wickedness of the people of the house of Israel.
And when he had said these words, he himself also knelt upon the earth; and behold he prayed unto the Father, and the things which he prayed cannot be written, and the multitude did bear record who heard him." (3 Nephi 17:14-15)

My feelings, also the negative ones are a part of me and should be treated with respect, not guiltily. I shouldn´t be ashamed of them. I shouldn´t feel that my feelings are wrong. Cause how can they be?
When Our Savior felt theese negative feelings just a few verses later they are turned into joy:

"And it came to pass that Jesus spake unto them, and bade them arise."
"And they arose from the earth, and he said unto them: Blessed are ye because of your faith. And now behold, my joy is full." (3 Nephi 17:19-20)

If we are trying to hide our real emotions by trying to act that we are feeling something else the result is simply a lie and it is impossible to express love influated by a lie.

Yes; some emotions can be hurtful and if someone are eg angry at me they are not going to want to discuss it. But silence is not golden in my mind. Yes you can feel vulnerable when you are wearing your heart on your sleeve. That is a part of your feeling that I do accept.
But the thing is: How do we express our (also negative) feelings? Apostle Paul is talking about speaking the truth in love.

"but speaking the truth in love, may grow up into Him in all things, who is the Head, even Christ, "(Eph 4:15)

For me that is about being honest also with negative feelings but in a sensitive and loving way that will not make others feel put down.

Do not force a smile to me if I did something wrong in your opinion. Give yourself permission to feel everything you feel and embrace the fact that you and your feelings are you, perfect or not.

Hit me with your negative feelings in Love. Do not take your feelings as an excuse to blame or insult. I won´t criticize your feelings or try to change them. Only the person who has the feelings can change them. I will listen to you. And I will be glad if you are honest. So will I be.

Friday, 25 July 2014


I am going to Utah soon.

It is funny my way of travelling. I do not prepare much. I do understand that for some people it can be frightening to travel. It can be a frightening loss of control, a disorienting dread of not knowing what's going on. It can be not knowing the language, or being unable to read the signs and losing one's way.

Do not worry abot languge. Je ne parle pas francais and I am travelling with Air France. What´s going on? No problemo.

Monday, 14 July 2014

In the name of J.C About Prayers 3

Jesus Christ says in the Gospel According to John;

"In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete."  (John 16:23-24)

Christ also commanded the Nephites to pray in his name: “Therfore ye must always pray unto the Father in my name “ (3 Nephi 18:13)

But what does it mean to ask in Jesus s name? When we end our prayers with: “In the name of Jesus Christ” is it then some kind of secret password? A way to ensure that what we pray for doesn´t go in one ear and out the other of our Heavenly Father?

A while ago I was saying grace beforing eating with a ward-member. I didn´t end my prayer with “in the name of Jesus” and this made my friend a little bit frustrated and he told me that all paryers should be in the name of Our Savior.

For me praying in Jesu´s name is about two things:

Number one:

We can´t pray for anything. Yeah. I think Joplis song “Mercedes Benz” is a great song but I wouldn´t ask Our Lord to give me a car (or maybe, I say maybe if I needed a car to do His work but right now I can´t see that coming up often enough to justify me praying about it). If we are to pray in Jesus’ name, then this means our prayers should reflect Jesus’ own values and purposes. Sure my own agenda can intrude into my prayers fairly easily but I hope and I want my prayers to be more and more consistent with Our Saviors will.

If we think that saying “in Jesus’ name” is what it means to pray in his name, then we are missing this point. Then we use the words just like a secret password that ensures Our Lord will hear us.

Jesus also uses the phrase “in my name” in other places;

“And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.” (Matt 18:5)

That has nothing to do about saying the words. It is more about doing something under His authority, or as His representative.

Number two:

Praying in Jesus name is a way to tell Our Heavenly Father that we are a part of His family. We come before God, not in our own merit, but in the merit of Jesus and by his permission.

I remember when I was young and my grandad used to own a store. It didn´t matter who was at the cashier; if I wanted to I could go into the store and buy candy on my grandfathers account. Once a friend of mine tried the same. He asked for some candy and said my grandads name. The answer he got was that he couldn´t get anything cause he wasn´t a part of the family

When I am asking God for candy in the name of Jesus Christ I do it as a part of the family and God will listen cause I am coming to him not in my own merit, but in the merit of Jesus and as a part of the family. The family I joined when I was baptized.

In opposite of my number one example this more clearly says me that I shold “sign my prayers” by saying the words “in the name of Jesus” cause signing just with my own name doesn´t show that I am a part of the family.

However. The most important thing for me is to pray in the name of Jesus Christ even the times I do not say the words out loud. That is what I am trying to do.

Earlier posts about prayers:

Monday, 7 July 2014

Welcome in any language

The journey back to Our Father in Heaven can have so different roads. As members of our Church we have differences; our ages, history, culture backgrounds and our languages. As members of Church we are all on this journey. I know that we are all welcome.

I have a “problem” in a bilingual country; in Finland as a new member. The problem is not that I am blessed to be the translation coordinator in our ward. I am translating from finnish to english, neither my mother tongue. In a bilingual country I am a minority; swedish speaking and when I have done translation work at our Sacrament Meetings I have been surprised by how the Holy Ghost guides me. All of a sudden I know a finnish word that I haven´t heard before and I do get a translation without hesitation.

My problem as a new member is practical things in different languges.I am talking in various langugaes when I am talking to members (finnish), missionaries (english). I prefer to read Our Holy Scriptures in my mother tounge (swedish). And all this is allright. And I am so glad that elder C baptized me in swedish and that I met a member from Sweden last week and we did talk in my native tounge.

So in a discussion if I know by heart a qoute from The book of Mormon in my mother tounge. I can´t say it. Of course missionaries all around the word has languages “problems” and my friend from Sweden had “problems” even in the Temple here in Finland. In our bilingual country.

The first missionary I met spoked Swedish. Elder W.

One thing though that was wonderful; the first missonary that I met was from Sweden and I started to talk with him because we had the same mothertounge.

As members of our Church we have differences; Our ages, history, culture backgrounds, our languages.As members of Church we are all on this journey. I know that we are all welcome. By our Lord. Amen.

And in Swedish:

Som medlemmar av vår kyrka har vi olikheter jag har stött på vissa praktiska då mitt modersmål är svenska ett minoritetsspråk I Finland. Det viktiga är att vi är ett i Kristus. Tack elder W, elder K och syster T för vad vi har talat.


Wednesday, 2 July 2014

Gardening god weeds

My fingernails are a wreck because of gardening. 

My spirit is on the top because of gardening.
A part of the ressurection story when Mary goes to pay her respects at the tomb and finds it empty; At a first glance she mistakes Jesus as a gardener.

“Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away.” (John 20:15)

I am blessed in many ways one is being a garderner. Imagine if we all found ways to use our God-given passions to care for the earth. Take care of each others.

My fingers are tools. My fingernails are a part of my body.

I do take care of my fingernails. Take care :-)

Sunday, 29 June 2014

Helsinki Pride

This saturday was the Pride-Parade in Helsinki. It was the first time I joined Pride as a active member of the LDS church and I was the only member from our church as far as I know. (20.000 people marched so could be I missed if somebodey else from our church was there). I did not have a sign in the parade but I did meet people with whom I was able to share my thoughts. There are people, both LGBTQ-identifying and straight, who are working to make spaces for LGBTQ people of Mormon heritage where they can reclaim their faith and religious culture in ways that are affirming of their sexual orientation and gender identity In Helsinki I felt alone though. - You are mormon? Are you kidding me?

Well every discussion has to start somewhere.

photos: Johan Finne

photo: my friend Monika E Pensar

Thursday, 26 June 2014

Let me be a carrot

Gardening can truly be a powerful spiritual activity. Think of it; The Garden is a place of miracles. Small seeds are put into dirt and watered then they grow roots, stems, leaves and bear fruit to eat. We put a tiny, flat colorless pumpkin seed in the ground and after some weeks we have a long vine containing a number of big, round orange fruits.
As a gardenerer I have the privilege to see such miracales on a reglurar basis and every gardening season witnesses the ongoing fulfillment of God’s promise:

“While the earth remains,
Seedtime and harvest,
Cold and heat,
Winter and summer,
And day and night
Shall not cease.”

(Genesis 8:22)

The seeds we plant will grow with the attention of us as gardeners. The more diligent and intentional we are in providing for the various needs of the plants, the greater will be their growth.
And plants have different needs. You do not grow a carrot in the same way as a rose. Carrots need deeply tilled soil that they can push through and when you plant a bare root rose the roots should be covered, but the stem should be out of the ground.

As human beings we also have different needs and we grow in different ways. We may have the common bond of being followers of Jesus Christ, yet we are both like and unlike one another. I like it. You may be a rose and I can be a carrot. The difference is there; in size, color, and shape. In personality, spirutal maturity and the gifts we have. The variety is designed by our Lord to bless us as individuals and to bless our church.
If I help you to grow to a beautiful rose can you help me to be a good carot?

"but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

To Him be the glory both now and forever. Amen." (2 Peter 2:18)

Tuesday, 17 June 2014

Called to Serve

Jesus Christ taught that to serve Him is to serve others:

“And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” (Matt 25:40)

Today I have been thinking about that when the Missionaries came and gave me a helping hand on my garden plot. Being a professional gardener I haven´t had to much time for my own plot. And the wether has been strange and cold. Early this morning some snow came down and the ground on my plot was pretty soggy but we got there midday the conditions for working were infinitely better. Partly sunny and not to hot to do the digging work and my missionary friends had such a positive attitude helping me.

I know that The Lord will bless and help us as we creatively and compassionately serve one another and there are many ways we can do that.

One of the simplest and easiest ways to serve our Lord and others is by befriending one another and for me it was also great to chat with the missionaries about other things than the gospel when we where digging. And I gave them the opportunity to decide where to plant the sunflower seeds.

I know that when we take the time to serve, we’ll not only support others but also build a network of support for ourselves and each of us have been given talents that we can develop and use to serve Our Heavenly Father and others. Just examine your life and see what talents you have. I am good at gardening and it is my proffession but I gladly help people with their gardens for free if needed. I know something about computers but nothing when it comes to cars. Somebody else has that talent. Someone is good at cooking or carpentry. Another brother or sister has the skill of staystitching. And you can help others with your skills by praying for help to develop your talents.

One of the most important skills some of us has lost is the skill of sharing. This is particularly true if you are on the receiving end, we are still fairly good at telling other people what to do or at doing a good deed, but so many people are no longer comfortable with asking for help or to borrow something. I used to think that asking for help is a sign of weakness but now I have found pathways to letting others help me.

I was blessed by the help I got today.

"But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him" (Moroni 7:47)

Tuesday, 10 June 2014


I remember a talk with an investigator of the church about prayers. He sometimes had a hard time to pray out loud with the missonaries and me. He always followed the same scheme and had it written down on a paper. 1) Adress God 2) Thank him 3) Ask him 4) Close in the name of our Savior.

This made him nervous; what if I ask before thanking? Well there is nothing wrong with that and also, prayer can be said in one's mind or out loud. Some people find that praying out loud makes it easier for them to focus. For me I rather pray in silence when I am by myself.

When it comes to pray in a group there are lots of reasons why people find it hard to pray out loud.
They might be shy or they worry about what people will think of them if they stumble over their words. Sometimes I have found it hard to pray out loud and when I was an investigator a member of the church said after a prayer; that was an honest prayer. Yes, my prayer was honest but it made me think; what has been wrong with my other prayers?

When hearing a prayer in a group or at meetings in a church it is nothing wrong if you don´t get a strong feeling from the spirit. Important is that the person saying the prayer is honest and might be the Holy Spirit gave something to another member in the group. I have heard prayers in ward meetings that have touched my heart right there and then. Sometimes praying together goes hand in hand with sharing our struggles. And that is good.

On the other hand one pattern that consistently appears in the Book of Mormon is that people often go to a private place to pray. For example Nephi went out:

"And it came to pass that he went out and bowed himself down upon the earth, and cried mightily to his God in behalf of his people, yea, those who were about to be destroyed because of their faith in the tradition of their fathers."  (3 Nephi 3:11)

Prayer is the way we communicate with God and as long as we are honest God will hear us.

I also think there are different kinds of prayers.
Your body needs lots of nutrients to help you grow and to give you energy to do everything that you. Sometimes when we are on the run we have to have a fast snack to get the energy that will keep us going. But every day we also need proper meels. A good breakfast is for example important.

The same thing with our prayers; Yes we are busy people sometimes and can have a ”snack-prayer” in our lifes. I can have it many times during a day. But to get the nutrition for my soul i really try to put time into my morning prayer. Wath do the Lord want from me today? And at least one other ”healthy-meal” prayer during the day.

Monday, 2 June 2014


So I am a guestblogger on a great site. I like they wanted my blogpost in my mother tongue; svenska. Tack.

In english; I am a human being. I am a gardener . I am a gay man and a happy member of Jesus Christ of Latter- day Saints. I was baptized 23th of November 2013 and I know that I have found the right church .

I can be tired sometimes to talk about my homosexuality and unfortunately there have been in my ward anonymous emails sent to my bishop.

I am a human being. I am a gardener.

After my bishop got the anonymous emails we  talked . There is no one in our church that condemns homosexuals. I find it sad that someone has to express opinions anonymously . I have prayed for the person in our church and I do hope he or she can talk some day with a makes contact real name.

I have once been the victim of hate crimes. Have a heterosexual male friend who yesterday received a stab because he defended my faith and my sexuality.

I am a man and gardener. I'm not perfect . Before I became a member of our church, I have arranged flower arrangements in ecumenical HBT-worships where Our Lord has been  present.

You who are reading this ; You are a human being regardless of your sexuality. Maybe you're gardener , probably not , but what you are, love our Father you. In Salt Lake City in 2013 went proud Mormons in Gay Parade under the slogan "Mormon building bridges" Let us build bridges without being anonymous .

Saturday, 31 May 2014


But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do:for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. (St Matthew 6:7)

You have heard them: The repetitions in prayers and some time I can think they are funny. For example; Donuts and biscuits are served and someone is asked to say a prayer then it goes; ”Bless the refreshments to nourish and strengthen our bodies. ”

I do not know how much donuts ”strengthen” my body. I think you can thank our Lord for a great snack and good company.

"Thank thee for all our many blessings." Yeah we do have blessings but this is a passive way to say it. A grateful heart comes through expressing gratitude to our Heavenly Father for His blessings and to those around us for all that they bring into our lives. I am grateful today for certain things. Counting my blessings is for me not for my Heavenly Father. If I even have to count them.

Another prayer I have heard; "Bless that we will travel home in safety." I do not have a car and to drive in a safe way is for me obiously. But what do you do with a car? Do you take extra caution when driving? If it's late, do you offer rides to those who might have to walk? Do you pray for the busdriver?

Any prayer from a sincere heart is great and phrases are repeated with good intentions. But friends remember our communication with our Father is so simple. And He has a kind of humour. Just be honest in your prayers. In my next blogpost I will talk more about this.

Saturday, 24 May 2014

Gay and mormon

Today I attended the European Forum of LGBT Christian groups mass in the Church of Alppila, Helsinki.

Sermon (lutheran) Bishop Irja Askola stated that ”welcome” is the most beautiful word from our Lord.

In her words:

”I wish you feel welcome, very welcome, in our whole Church and in this Diocese. You carry with you something, which we need in our Church. The wisdom to be sensitive to all those, who have struggled to be accepted. To hear the voices, which have been ignored or recognize the beauty, which has been forbidden to be appreciated.”

Irja Askola

I felt welcomed. I also as a gay mormon feel welcomed in my own ward, by my bishop and by brothers and sisters.

There was a situation when an anonymus person sent me, and our bishop e-mails saying that I am not a worthy member in the church being homosexual. We talked about it with the Bishop and he brought up our churchs view in a fifth sunday lesson. I am thankful for that and I have many times in my heart forgiven the person sending the e-mails.

With love and understanding our Church reaches out to all God´s children, including our homosexual brothers and sisters.

A great gay mormon blogger is David. If you want to visit his blog then it is:

Wednesday, 21 May 2014

Lost and found

One of the most important persons in my life is leaving Finland tomorrow. Elder C. The missionary that baptized me, the missionary that spoked to me the words our Father had told him to speak.

”Which things also we speak, not in the words which man’s wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth; comparing spiritual things with spiritual.” (1 Corinthians 2:13)

But also a person that became a true friend. A person with whom I could naturally share who I am and what is most important to me. I could tell him my story without being shameful of my truth and he was able to witness how our Savior made me new.

Our final meeting did not however turned out the way it was planned. I met him with his Mission Companions and I was looking forward to continue our discussion where we left the last time I saw him and then say some kind of a proper farewell even though I am very bad at goodbyes.

Then it turned out that Elder C had left his wallet on the bus. Now our meeting became an issue of a practical problem; to get his wallet back. I said a silent prayer and trusted in our Lord that things would work out. And it did finally. A person had found the wallet and called the Missonaries and they decided to meet on Alberga train station in an hour. Since Elder C had his buscard in his wallet I went along on the bus to the station paying his fee with my card.
Then we waited on a crowdy station. Not a place to continue the discussion that I wanted us to continue. Not a good place to find the right words to say a proper farewell. To tell Elder C how much he had meant to me. All I said was: ”You know that you have ment a lot to me, as a missonary and as a person” and he replied ” I know”.

The person that had found Elder C:s wallet turned up to give it back but the clock was ticking. Elder C and his Missonary Companions had their own schedule and they were in a hurry to their next meeting. It turned out that I could take the same train home that they had to take to the church. So I did. When I jumped of the train and they continued their journey Elder C gave me a friendly tap on my shoulder. I wanted to turn around and say something but the tears in my eyes made it impossible for me. I just felt that this was not the way our final meeting was supposed to be. So many things I stil wanted to share. A smile I wanted to give.

But later that day my tears turned into tears of joy as I remembered the last speach that elder C had in our ward. There he brought up the Parable of the Lost Sheep found in Luke 15.

”And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost. ” (Luke 15:5-6).

As in the case with elder C:s wallet I once was lost but found and remembering that made me realize the most important thing he had done to me. Sharing the gospel. And i know that by seeing the impact of the gospel in our lives and sharing the good news in everyday evangelistic conversations, friends are invited to brothers and sisters through repentance and faith in Jesus Christ.

Our final meeting turned out to be a good reminder and the words I didn´t tell him was in the end not that important.

Saturday, 10 May 2014

Just a note to a friend of mine

Yeah my friend. (I know You are a reader of my blog)  You have taken a step in the right direction. Hugs see you on tuesday.


Monday, 5 May 2014

Inner Beauty

Sometimes I have seen myself as not beautiful. Years ago. But not anymore. We all have a inner beauty. And the hidden and inner beauty comes also from our friends and beloved. As a mirror of self-improvence. Our Father in heaven also want us to see our inner beauty.

"But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7)

Sunday, 27 April 2014

No life on the Highway anymore

It is not Life that is going by too fast. It is we.

Life is a restful place, a cheerful invitation with the possibility of being useful to people, to do good and to feel hapiness. Still some of us are living it on the highway. On a journey going so fast that we will miss the small clear lakes, the dew when it seemes to hang upon the trees and the irresistible charm in a stoneblock.

Why should we live with such hurry and waste of life? With thousands of excuses to not stop for a while. To not stop until we have to. The end of the road. The end where we do not have any excuses. When it is too late to call a friend, to learn something from a stranger, to tell our dearest that we love them.
I have been like that. Simply forgotten things like sending my friends a message just to brighten their day. Not because I didn´t need my friends. Just becase my ego was getting in the way, driving on the highway pretending to know where I was going.

It is said that a stitch in time saves nine, and so we take a thousands stitches today to save nine tomorrow. But tomorrow can be too late.

Thanks to my Faith I'm not scared of dying. Physical death is just the separation of the spirit from the mortal body. What I am scared of is the emptiness I might feel when people I am used to live with passes away. That's why I don´t want to take the highway. I don't want to live a life where I might feel biterness over the fact that I didn't have time to tell my parents how much I love them, showing my friends how much I care, missing a stranger in need just because I was in an important meeting or that a stupid tv-show kept me awake.

Monday, 10 March 2014

About silent prayers

God can hear our thoughts just as easily as He can hear our words.

"Pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17).

I had a silent prayer with a friend. We were holding hands and I can tell that in small vibrations in a hand squeeze we where at the same level.

Wednesday, 5 March 2014


"And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not."
(Isaiah 58:11)

The cold winter is almost over which also means that we can soon start to prepare for the upcoming gardening season.